Now that 4 out of 6 modules are handed in, and there is only a month and a half left in my first year, it's time for a reflection on how far I've come in Level 4 and the strengths and struggles I have encountered along the way...
As a Practitioner
5 STRENGTHS:
• Adaptive; I'm willing to explore a range of briefs, develop multiple ideas, push myself away from what feels comfortable and safe, and work with an array of materials - as I'm wanting to learn as much as possible in these early stages of being a professional artist, designer and illustrator.
• Critical reflection; I am very critical of my own and others' work, reflecting often on each stage of the process and questioning what could be done better to improve the aesthetic or learning of skills, and considering the next steps to take. I regularly undertake contextual research regarding contemporary practitioners who have a similar practice or have used a similar process to what I am exploring and reflect on what they have achieved and how I can imbed that in my own outcomes.
• Good time management; I often plan ahead and make schedules and timetables for myself in my academic planner to ensure I have enough time to complete tasks and research, juggling multiple projects and responsibilities at once. A lot of my personal time is dedicated to Tami, my Guide Dog, making sure she is happy, healthy and has a good amount of work to do partnered with play time - so I have to be as effective as I can in completing my work to a good standard in good time so I can play and enjoy myself too (going on long walks, taking Tami for weekly free runs to burn off extra energy, regular vet visits, monthly flea and worm treatments, booster vaccinations, body and teeth checks, etc.) It isn't easy being a student with 100% responsibility of a full grown 26kg Lab x Retriever! As Student Governor I have regular 2 hour meetings on a Wednesday afternoon after my lecture, so I ensure I am up-to-date on my COP blog with my lecture notes so I can engage fully with Board of Governors' and / or Learning Teaching Enhancement meetings in the Boardroom afterwards. I also have to make sure I can fit my weekly violin lessons around my busy schedule!
• Strong work ethic; As discussed in a previous blog post, I come from a working class Irish family in Salford and from an early age I learned about the benefits of grafting, hard labour and strong dedication - keeping on top of work and keeping the momentum going to ensure I am not burned out and continue to have a love of the work I do. I am willing to put the extra effort in, going above and beyond what is required, to see results in everything I do - whether that is illustration, playing the violin, undertaking charity work, and so on. Having little possessions or opportunities growing up, I take absolutely nothing for granted and am humbled and grateful for any and all opportunities that come my way and want to ensure I do my absolute best to make my family, and myself, proud.
• Resourceful and good problem solver; As someone with a big disadvantage in life, I have learned to have a different perspective and to not accept any problem or misfortune as a finality. There is always a way around an obstacle with courage, determination and imagination! With my own hoard of materials and books, knowledge and experience partnered with the facilities at the college and the wisdom of my tutors - there is nothing that can stop me from being ambitious at art school.
5 STRUGGLES:
• Over-complication: As someone who has faced adversity and a daily struggle, I have a natural tendency to overthink even the simple tasks and make things much harder for myself when they don't need to be. I am getting better at just doing something and then leaving it alone, giving it space to settle and then coming back to reconsider the outcome. As I have learned over the course - to simplify is to amplify!
• Research: I absolutely love researching and finding out new information but I can get far too caught up in the research process, long after the timeframe has elapsed, rather than spending time on developing work and experimenting. I have learned to reel it in for the Visual Communication briefs though, due to them being only 2 weeks long, - instead, pushing myself to fill sketchbooks with just playing and experimenting with ideas, motifs and materials.
• Experimentation; Following on from this, I need to be more exhaustive in my experimentation! I have experienced the benefits of creating roughs, multiples, iterations, media and materials swatches and test pieces through my 2 years of being at Leeds College of Art and need to continue down this route as my practice develops. I usually have a mental image in my mind of how I want the final outcome to be executed and tend to skip the testing stage so I can spend as much time as possible on the final outcome.
• Collaboration; I am so, so, so independent and can be a bit of a control freak. Partner this with being a perfectionist and the idea of collaboration is just totally off the cards... Things have to be done in a certain way and I cannot deal with people not doing work on time, not being decisive enough on ideas and not having a clear channel of communication. I have collaborated with the UK Scouts magazine and various charities when producing illustrations for printed work - but was given a lot of creative freedom. Any adjustments I needed to do were made very clear to me and I did them quickly and successfully. If I am to collaborate in the future, I expect the same level of punctuality, commitment and dedication that I give to a project.
• Disability; I cannot deny that my severe visual impairment (blind in my right eye and only 8% central vision in my left) creates a humungous about of obstacles and barriers on such a demanding and visual course. I have struggled with observational drawing in life drawing classes and on location, getting headaches and eye strain by spending a long amount of time focusing on peers' work during crits (I much prefer smaller group crits) and being on the computer too long, using the lightbox which completely floods my useful field of vision with bright light, using the facilities where there are lots of people, students attempting to distract my Guide Dog when she is working, difficulty reading books for COP using the knfbReader on my iPhone which is massively time consuming and sometimes inaccurate.
As a Student:
5 STRENGTHS:
• Punctuality; I have good attendance and I'm always on time unless something gets in the way of me travelling to uni. I had 100% attendance last year on the Access to HE course and was there before everyone else - and usually one of the last to leave at 7pm every evening. This year, I've had a few more struggles in terms of Tami getting conjunctivitis, me having multiple falls and accidents as I get used to my student accommodation, an incident with a taxi driver, etc. but I have always made the effort to complete my work, come into the studio when it's necessary and work at home when I'm unable to attend.
• Positive role model; I have been told many times that I am a positive role model for fellow students, not succumbing to my disadvantages and taking education back into my own hands. Despite having no support at primary school or high school from 1992 - 2005 -relying on friends to read out the blackboard and whiteboard and help to guide me around the building - and being bullied when I went to college as I was no longer in my safe place, I still never let go of the dream of one day having my art degree. After a long journey of losing even more of my sight, accepting and embracing my disability, learning how to cook, clean, use technology, read Braille, use a long cane and a Guide Dog for mobility, I made the decision to get my degree before my sight deteriorates any further. I do hope I encourage and inspire those around me to keep pushing on and achieving their goals despite any setbacks as life is too short.
• Engagement; I involve myself fully with each and every session - whether that is group discussions, peer crits, asking and answering questions, providing suggestions, completing practical tasks, group work, going out of the studio and into the workshops, getting to know my tutors and the resources well. This is evident in my blogs through regular session notes, reflections, evaluations and learning outcomes.
• Organisation: I'm extremely organised in terms of my work space in the studio and at home, always bring my books back to the library on time, attend lectures, sessions, Governor meetings and Exec Officer meetings on time, ensure to do my general admin each day of responding to e-mails and answering phone calls, carrying out tasks for Tami's health and well-being, arranging weekly violin lessons, and so on. I have both an academic and personal planner and religiously log into eStudio to plan ahead for sessions. I have my iPad and bluetooth keyboard fully charged and ready to type up notes on and always have my trusty rucksack packed with essential media and materials for working in the studio.
• Student Union; I actively participate in LCA's Student Union as an Exec Officer and Student Governor - attending Board of Governors meetings, Learning Teaching Enhancement meetings and Exec Officer meetings with the rest of the union - sometimes travelling to different cities to attend conferences with other SU's across the country and attending attends to represent the college. I care deeply about LCA and love the institution, and everyone involved behind the scenes, a lot.
5 STRUGGLES:
• Crits; I tend to lose focus and concentration during the lengthy crit sessions... With 60 peers to look at and evaluate the work of I start to feel eye strain, headaches, disorientation, boredom and lethargy at moving around a huge space with lots of people crammed into it. I constantly walk into people, chairs and bags and find the whole thing entirely uncomfortable. I can't read my feedback and have no way of knowing whether mine is neat enough for others to read!
• Studio space; I often cannot concentrate in the studio during independent study days because of others' loud banter and conversations, losing focus my work and instead melting into a pot of 'lit', 'fam' and 'safe'. I tend to just go home or stay in the library so I can really anchor my energy and drive into my work. I don't always want to listen to music so have no other option, which is a shame as the studio is a shared space and should be a hub of creation and excitement. The small space, obstacles of people standing around, chairs pulled out at all angles and bags creeping out from under tables also disheartens me a lot and I like to go home where I know I have everything organised and in its place.
• Context of Practice; I hate to say it, but I don't enjoy COP as much as I'd like to... which is a huge shame as I absolutely adored Contextual Studies last year on the Access to HE course. I love attending lectures, learning new aspects of art and design that were unknown to me previously, discovering new theories and practitioners that ignite my creativity to try something new - but I just do not enjoy the COP sessions. Point blank. I think because I have the very first slot of 9:30 in the morning and not many people turn up, partnered with a clunky schedule of just having peer crits week-in-week-out on our learning journal, just really bores me and becomes a monotonous pattern. I'd love to be able to do more presentations, work with new people, have opportunities to go into workshops and the library to undertake tasks rather than sitting around filling out a sheet of paper... Last year, I knew everyone on the Access course and we had fruitful debates on modernism vs. postmodernism, masculinity and the male gaze, objectification in advertisements, colonialism and imperialism and the stealing of artefacts to put into museums... I just don't know anyone in my group well enough, rarely have anyone who wants to work with me - because I'm uncool or something - and just keep myself to myself, wasting the 2 hours of the session and feeling like I have achieved absolutely nothing.
• Self doubt; As an artist and practitioner with a disability, and very high standards, my self-doubt is truly amplified and I often criticise and pick apart the work I make and question my intentions, processes and outcomes religiously. Am I good enough? Is what I am making any good? Does it have merit, start a conversation? Is it funny, charming, evocative? I need to let go of these feelings and just make and do.
• Mature student; Right from the get-go, I found it hard as a mature student to fit into the overall group - by my opinions, interests and overall life experience. Everyone seems to have formed their own cliques and circles now and it is impossible to get to know anyone. Being back in education after so long was my main concern last year but being on the Access course, with such a small group of fellow mature students, all from different walks of life and occupations, was such a fantastic and inspiring environment to be in every day. There was a Doctor who decided that he just wanted to paint, a mother of two from Bulgaria who was a breath of fresh air and turned up to sessions when it suited her independent and care-free lifestyle, a computer technician who was over 60, and my close-knit group of friends were all over 25 and decided to get back into art full-time. One has moved onto Chelsea School of Art, another at Sheffield Hallam, and two at Leeds Beckett. We were all on the same page and the same path and that is what made Access truly unique - any hang-ups were left at the door and we all had a mutual understanding and respect for each other. I don't feel that on this course, I feel like people are incredibly uncomfortable around me and don't know how to interact with me. I only stay with the other mature students for fear of being seen as trying to relive my youth and acting younger than I am, and feel worlds apart from everyone else. It was extremely difficult to get my head around it at first, but I have just had to accept that this is the way it is and carry on... I'm a very social person so this is something I am working on! I still keep in touch with the mature students who progressed onto a degree course at LCA: one on animation, one on surface pattern, two on visual communication, three on fine art and one who will start the masters course later this year.
